Now this is quite common. A guy and girl are good friends and then the guy pops the question and the girl says ” You are a good friend but I never thought of you like that” or some annoying variation of it.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, “You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. We may even hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.” 😉
Does it not sound so stupid. I mean you are good friends so whats the problem?
Okay I was kidding. Proabably I was being a bit sarcastic. Yes you can be great friends with a girl and yet she may never have any feelings for you. And you will have to live with that mate. Love is not a mathematical formula, where you can say:
You look good+You are smart+You are intelligent+Funny+Caring+Great Friend= I am in love with you.
It just does not work that way. You have to have a mysterious compound Z in the above equation to make love happen. And that Z my friend is an unknown compound and varies from person to person. And that is exactly why you may be very good friends with someone and yet he/she may not have any feelings for you.
But yes, I think its very important that you be good friends first and then fall in love. I dont believe in love at first sight. Love happens over time, gradually. You don’t just wake up one fine day and decide that you love that great friend of yours. In fact, you dont decide anything at all. It just happens. We can choose who our friends are but with the people we love, we have absolutely no say in the matter. You can neither start nor stop loving a person.
In such a situation, my advice to you would be to continue to be friends and spend time with her whenever you have the opportunity hoping against hope that one that she will change her mind. And if that day never comes, please do not come and complain here. You chose this in the first place. You could have walked away and you did not. So face the consequences.