You are a great friend, BUT ….. :-(

ow this is quite common. A guy and girl are good friends and then the guy pops the question and the girl says ” You are a good friend but I never thought of you like that” or some annoying variation of it.
This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, “You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.”

Now this is quite common. A guy and girl are good friends and then the guy pops the question and the girl says ” You are a good friend but I never thought of you like that” or some annoying variation of it.

This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, “You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. We may even hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn’t work out, we’ll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.” 😉

Does it not sound so stupid. I mean you are good friends so whats the problem?

Okay  I was kidding. Proabably I was being a bit sarcastic. Yes you can be great friends with a girl and yet she may never have any feelings for you. And you will have to live with that mate. Love is not a mathematical formula, where you can say:

You look good+You are smart+You are intelligent+Funny+Caring+Great Friend= I am in love with you.

It just does not work that way. You have to have a mysterious compound Z in the above equation to make love happen. And that Z my friend is an unknown compound and varies from person to person. And that is exactly why you may be very good friends with someone and yet he/she may not have any feelings for you.

But yes, I think its very important that you be good friends first and then fall in love. I dont believe in love at first sight. Love happens over time, gradually. You don’t just wake up one fine day and decide that you love that great friend of yours. In fact, you dont decide anything at all. It just happens. We can choose who our friends are but with the people we love, we have absolutely no say in the matter. You can neither start nor stop loving a person.

In such a situation, my advice to you would be to continue to be friends and spend time with her whenever you have the opportunity hoping against hope that one that she will change her mind. And if that day never comes, please do not come and complain here. You chose this in the first place. You could have walked away and you did not. So face the consequences.

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19 thoughts on “You are a great friend, BUT ….. :-(

    • Well I was never good at chemistry..Physics yes, Maths yes, Coding Hell Yes. Why is Z not a buffer overflow? 😦

      • True yaar …. I was blocked at nomenclature and its dangerous rules in the beginning of Chemistry .. so never dared to venture deeper … 😛

        And even if it were some Computer topic … we might not be able to solve it … cause finding the Z of the equation is actually computationally infeasible … or lets say NP Complete …

      • Absolutely right Mr. Patel…NP COMPLETE it is…But we should never give up…May be by fixing a few parameters we might be able to solve it…It may still take a lot of time…But it might get solved

    • Thank u Amul…Yeah I like teaching…But to do it daily, day after day, hour after hour is scary.. And I found this analogy on the internet…Not something I created…The rest of the post is all mine of course…..

  1. Why are u wasting your productive time on these kind of silly matters?
    You have a lot more to offer to the world, and gain from it.
    For the sake of a mere individual do not make yourself weak …… try to be worthy for whole of the humanity at large,some time you have to make choice between worse and bad. You can do a lot better…..
    Lets work together for the creation of greater world, a better life……… at times we have to ignore the petty issues….

    • Hey DDK…thanks for the comment…I am much flattered…I dont know what I have to offer to the world besides humorous and crappy blog post…let see.

      And this post isnt at all autobiographical…Dunno what makes u think that way 🙂
      I am not hopelessly in love with anyone, thank you very much…

      And love does not make you weak it makes u strong….Remember this, the whole world may mean a lot to you and yet someone may mean the whole world to you…..

      And different people have different priorities. Different folks different strokes, dude.. 🙂

  2. Well, there’s a lot of reasons. I mean, roses only last like a couple weeks, and that’s if you leave them in water.. and they really only exist to be pretty. So that’s like saying “my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance”!

    But a potato! Potatos last for fucking ever, man. In fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack. That part alone makes it a good symbol.. but there’s more! There are so many ways to enjoy a potato.. you can even make a battery with it! And that’s like saying “i have many ways in which I show my love for you”

    Potatos may be ugly, but they’re still awesome. So in the end that’s like saying “it doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still love you”.

    [Courtesy: IronChef Foicite]

  3. aaw sandy!

    “the whole world may mean a lot to you and yet someone may mean the whole world to you…..”
    liked this the most.

    n bhai chal ab coding pe wapas ja. enought tp 😛

    • @Shruti: Thank you.. Btw, I no longer have the luxury of coding…Now I am gradually turning into one of those “guys in suits”

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